As many testimonies given by those living in the “Bible belt”, I grew up in a Christian home. I prayed the sinner’s prayer at age twelve, went to church at Dardenne Presbyterian Church ever Sunday, was involved in church choir and youth group, and could probably name all the books of the Bible in order, forward and back. Maturing as a young adult, I did not drink or smoke, do drugs or use profanity in my speech. From all outward appearances, I was a great Christian kid. However, as the lyrics to a song I wrote later in life testify, “I would go to church daily, and show the world I was thinking of You. And all things appeared beautiful, but deep down was dead man’s bones.” I was an expert at wearing masks. Though outwardly I was the model Christian teenager, inwardly I had not been born again.
Instead of being the Christian that I set out to appear to be, I was a sinner and knew it. I did not give my parent’s much trouble, but I was rebellious at heart. When I started dating—exactly at the age my parents had regulated appropriate, sixteen—I was immediately caught in a lustful lifestyle. Throughout high school and into college I surrounded myself with friends that exuded sexuality. We didn’t party like other kids, but were overly flirtatious and affectionate with one another in such a way that earned unsavory reputations with peers.
As a Junior in high school, I started dating the boy that would ultimately turn my heart to the Savior I desperately needed. Cliff was the perfect mask to add to my collection. He was respectful, well mannered and well dressed. However, my relationship with him was not as wholesome as appearances showed. Quickly, we were fornicating, with promises of marriage after high school and college were finished. We dated three years, and through the emotional affects that physical intimacy incurs, I placed all of my identity, my hope, and my trust in this fallible human being. My conscience pricked often, though I was not willing to give up my sin. Ultimately, it took Cliff’s initiative to break off the relationship that finally woke me up to the spiritual condition I was in.
The break up was extremely difficult. Here I had put all of my trust in this young man, and he had failed me. My hopes were dashed, and I felt hollow and empty. I was used and unclean. I felt like giving up, and even contemplated suicide. In these desperate moments, it was my college roommate, a true Christian that encouraged me to seek the Lord. In the midst of my turmoil, I gave up my life to Christ. I pledged to God, in that moment, that I would follow Him wherever He would lead, and would trust and obey Him in all that He would show me.
From that point in my life to the present, this commitment to following God entirely has pushed me forward from faith to faith. I found joy in serving others in the Lord, been inspired by His word to write songs for His glory, and have learned the importance of loving Brethren in the Lord. God led me to marry my wonderful husband, Clint, who has been one of the greatest teachers and exhorters in my life. The Lord has challenged me with His word, and I have been willing to go where He will send me. I do not know where I would be in life if it were not for the renewing blood of Jesus Christ that brought me out of the darkness of sin into this new life where I die that He may live through me.
Instead of being the Christian that I set out to appear to be, I was a sinner and knew it. I did not give my parent’s much trouble, but I was rebellious at heart. When I started dating—exactly at the age my parents had regulated appropriate, sixteen—I was immediately caught in a lustful lifestyle. Throughout high school and into college I surrounded myself with friends that exuded sexuality. We didn’t party like other kids, but were overly flirtatious and affectionate with one another in such a way that earned unsavory reputations with peers.
As a Junior in high school, I started dating the boy that would ultimately turn my heart to the Savior I desperately needed. Cliff was the perfect mask to add to my collection. He was respectful, well mannered and well dressed. However, my relationship with him was not as wholesome as appearances showed. Quickly, we were fornicating, with promises of marriage after high school and college were finished. We dated three years, and through the emotional affects that physical intimacy incurs, I placed all of my identity, my hope, and my trust in this fallible human being. My conscience pricked often, though I was not willing to give up my sin. Ultimately, it took Cliff’s initiative to break off the relationship that finally woke me up to the spiritual condition I was in.
The break up was extremely difficult. Here I had put all of my trust in this young man, and he had failed me. My hopes were dashed, and I felt hollow and empty. I was used and unclean. I felt like giving up, and even contemplated suicide. In these desperate moments, it was my college roommate, a true Christian that encouraged me to seek the Lord. In the midst of my turmoil, I gave up my life to Christ. I pledged to God, in that moment, that I would follow Him wherever He would lead, and would trust and obey Him in all that He would show me.
From that point in my life to the present, this commitment to following God entirely has pushed me forward from faith to faith. I found joy in serving others in the Lord, been inspired by His word to write songs for His glory, and have learned the importance of loving Brethren in the Lord. God led me to marry my wonderful husband, Clint, who has been one of the greatest teachers and exhorters in my life. The Lord has challenged me with His word, and I have been willing to go where He will send me. I do not know where I would be in life if it were not for the renewing blood of Jesus Christ that brought me out of the darkness of sin into this new life where I die that He may live through me.
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